Happy Thanksgiving!

I have a minute or two so I thought I would say Happy Thanksgiving! Sooooo. ...Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm stuck in a Brain Rut

   Ahhhh! From time to time I get in this rut...hard to explain. I think it's actually partially a Fibro flare up but I am not sure. This time, however, it's even worse because the Chemo I recently underwent makes it hard for me to snap out of it. I get into this intense slump and cannot seem to catch up with anything. I did do some crafting the other day which was refreshing..but mindless. Anything that takes brain power has been a no-no and it's driving me insane. I am having a hard time with actually getting up and doing things..my hands are like lead tapping along on this keyboard telling you how my brain feels at this moment. 11am and I want to sleep. I want to veg on the couch into a mindless potato and do nothing. But, with kids and life...I am only able to skip out on some things and even then I am giving myself more work in the future.
    The sad thing is, that in one part of my brain I know I have things to do and things I want to do. I have laundry, housework, a newsletter to write, a campaign I should be pushing (more on that later..I think/hope) and other things I need to be getting done..but here I am....and I can't find the strength to get off this chair and do something. I hate it, its probably the worse side effect of life, ever...brain fog. How do I get out of this rut..first, I know I need to be using my oils but sometimes when I get in these moods I am too lazy to even use them..which is sad, because I know if I do - they will help. Self mutilation...brain style.  I have so much to write for you...to tell you, to teach you...I just need to get up and do it. Ugh..

End Vent.

Happy 100!

   I just logged on to start a draft post and realized that this post..the one you are reading right now, is my 100th post here on my blog! Pretty amazing huh! It is to me. I have people to thank for this HUGE accomplishment and they all have the same name - ME. lol! Just kidding, sort of. I write for myself but I do so in hopes that my experiences and writing helps someone else. I just haven't gotten to THAT point that I feel like I am offering any valuable information at this point in time. That will change though. I have so much I want to write about and things I want to make to share and DIY healing things....AHH there aren't enough hours in the day for all I want to do!

   Anyways! Happy 100 to The Kodak Life! I love my Blog!!!!

Happy Father's Day from Earth

     Each year on fathers day I make two phone calls. One to my father and one to my step father. I always tell Jim how much I appreciate him as the father of our children also. This year will be different. ..I will be making one phone call and then saying a little father's day prayer. It's hard to wrap my head around that my father has passed away,  even though it's been almost two months. Does it get easier?  Each holiday or occasion I think I need to call so and so and then I remember that I can't call him. I know he isn't in pain anymore and he isn't suffering but lord knows I did not have enough time with him. I wasn't able to say what I needed to say and we weren't able to do what we needed to do.
     Last year around this same time we were talking about playing a round of golf and teasing each other about who would kick who's butt. We never played that round and I am regretful although I know it's not that big of a deal. I wonder if it will ever get easier or if ever year I will feel that pain and tightness in my throat, tears trying to fall and my chest heavy remembering I won't ever hear him sing or joke or just tell me he loves me again. I want to call and tell him I love him one more time and hear him say 'I know honey,  I love you too'. I want to call and tell him I'm going to beat him up and him ask me if I need a smack down (you'd have to know him to understand). I used to make jokes that I was going to stick him in the best nursing closet I could find...He would tell me he would cause so much trouble no one would let him stay and I'd be forced to take care of him and he would make my life a nightmare. He was a riot. Sometimes I feel sad when I make a joke or stupid face to my kids. I know I get that from him. I try to be happy that I am like him in a lot of ways but then I remember he's gone...he's really gone.

     What I'd do to say I love you dad one more time to him. To joke with him and talk about life and living right with him.  Happy Father's Day, Dad. Hope you're loving it up there in heaven. Hope you have a great first father's day with Brandy. Sing me a song tomorrow, okay? 

Love Your favorite daughter ever, I am pretty sure... <3
I Love You,
Britt

On Dad and Death

My dad died last night. He had multiple myeloma. After 3 years of fighting the fight is finally over. It's hard to be happy for him even though I should be. He was in alot of pain. Last night I found out in a text message that he had passed away. A text message.