It was the year 2005, and I didn't have a home phone. The apartments that I lived at had a payphone and I used that phone to set my doctors appointments and call family when I could. My mother worked about 20 yards away from where I lived so I visited her when she was at work or walked across town to her house. I was pregnant and so excited to meet my new baby and go on this new journey in my life. It was a dream of mine since I was a tiny girl to be a mommy and this tiny baby in my belly was going to make my dreams come true. Christopher was going to be the first boy born in my family since a cousin 9 years earlier. My due date was May 5th.
On Valentines Day I received a letter in the mail from my Doctor's office. The letter was in concern with my urine test that I had the week prior. I found .50 cents and called the office and they said I had high levels of protein in my urine and they wanted to see me immediately and I did not need an appointment. There was no further explanation and to be frank...the nurse scared the shit out of me. I called a friend, Chris, to come take me to the doctor's office.
When I walked in they noticed me immediately, and took me straight back to do another urine test. Then I waited, and waited, and waited. When the doctor came into the room I could see the concern on his face. He looked at the rest of my chart information and then preceded to tell me that I had Toxemia and would not be going home. He handed me admission papers to the hospital and told me to go the maternity ward. So...here starts my long stay in the hospital.
As the weeks past I started to gain water weight and lots of it. When the protein in my urine kept rising they discussed the possibility of taking the baby early, but would have to transfer him to Dayton - over an hour away and I had no car - because he would be extremely premature. The goal...KEEP THE BABY IN AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.
March 15th - First attempt at induction. The Doctor decided it was best for the baby to come. My kidneys were failing and I had stopped urinating completely. I could not walk from the swelling and I was in a lot of pain. They tried multiple medications to induce the labor but nothing worked. 2 bags of Pitocin..and nothing but mild contractions. The next day they decided to let him wait a few more days and see if maybe my body would cooperate then.
Everytime they changed my IV, they would miss. They couldn't even feel my veins anymore. They would attempt, miss, attempt, miss..until they called in a specialist and after he/she missed 4 or 5 times and I was extremely pissed off they got the IV in. This was an every 3 day thing for the duration of my stay.
March 18th - Second attempt at induction. Here we go again. Same attempts, same medications. Same outcome. Now we wait again....I am in so much pain. I can't move without hurting. I can't even wiggle my toes and I have lost all ability to naturally reflex. At this point I am very concerned with how I am feeling. They are juicing me with medication because literately my body does not want this baby in me and is fighting like he was an infection. I was so exhausted..
March 27th - Easter 2005 - Third Attempt at induction. This time they explained they were going to use more drastic measures to get the baby out. They used medication in my cervix to soften and help it thin out. They used high doses of Pitocin. The nurse said she had worked for 28 years as a nurse and had never seen Pitocin not cause contractions on a woman....until me. Nothing was working and I was feeling pretty worn out and wondering if this was even worth it. Then...an advancement. In the middle of the night my water broke. At this point I knew..I was going to have a baby. The thought of a c-section had never crossed my mind and I began trying to rest for pushing time.
After 14 hours of hard-enough labor I had only dilated to a 2 and wasn't advancing anymore. Then my heart rate started to drop a bit and so did Christopher's. They came in and said if I did not have the baby by 3pm they were going to have to take me in to have a c-section. So at that point I called my family, my then-husband from work and a few select friends. This was it - really it. I was going to have a baby...today.
Here is how I remember the next few hours...within 10 minutes of being told I would be taken to c-section at 3 (which was 3 hours away) the room filled up with blue masked people. "We need to take the baby now" and they were all scattering around getting me ready for surgery. It was a haze. They needed to do an epidural to take me in but the anesthesiologist couldn't see my spine from water retention. She missed, and missed and missed a total of 6 times. Then the nurse blew my IV..and had to put my IV in again..while they were giving me the epi. I was terrified.
They look me into C-section and 5 minutes later I freaked out. I yelled at the doctor "Did you just cut me??" The look on his face was pure horror. He called for another dose of epidural. I still felt him cutting me. I couldn't move and it hurt so bad. I was crying and shaking and afraid for my life. The doctor told the anesthesiologist to knock me out...I stopped him. I wanted to hear my baby cry. I wanted to see him. I said I was fine, I lied. Then they said "Here comes baby boy!" and I waited and waited..isn't he suppose to cry? Aren't I suppose to see him? Where is he? Then I seen him. My tiny 5 pound baby..he was limp in the nurses arms, no one was smiling, he was completely lifeless and blue. It took about 10 minutes to get him up to where he should be with breathing. I heard a tiny cry..short...tiny...but enough.
Later, I found out his hips were lodged under my ribs. They vacuumed, forceps, tried vacuuming again, and then used the Dr's hands and twisted him out, nearly cracking my babies neck.
He's here, and perfect and today..He turned 8 years old. I was on a bad path and he completely changed my life. He is my first born, my first true love, my sunshine. Happy Birthday Son...May you have many many more. I love you.
