To the Formula Feeding Mama on my Facebook

Dear Formula Feeding Mama,
Maybe you had some free time while baby was napping today and you were scrolling through Facebook, saw the image and post of my nursling and decided to report just because you didn't like it. How do I know it was a formula feeding mom? You messaged me with your story and told me I was making the formula feeding world of mothers look bad. Maybe, maybe it brought back bad feelings from when you tried to nurse. Maybe you never had the desire to nurse because you just didn't want to... whatever it was...I am absolutely surprised that the very first time I decided to post a single, discrete image of my baby nursing I get reported. Really, you can't even tell he is nursing. I have almost 1,000 people on my Facebook..and I am glad you are no longer one of them. You are entitled to your thoughts and I will listen if you want to tell me your story..but I won't stand for you telling me that I am making other mothers look bad and telling me I should be ashamed.
       I am sorry that you felt the need to report an image that I personally find beautiful. When I look into the sleepy eyes of my baby boy nursing himself to sleep...I am in awe of what I have achieved. I am almost certain that while holding your baby in your arms with the bottle you just mixed, you feel the same way. If you posted that image of your baby filling his small belly and feeling sleepy..I probably would be one of your first friends to "like" your picture. When you look past what is nurturing your child, whether breast or bottle, you are seeing your baby...being lovingly cared for - THAT is what I see. You and I alike spent 9 painfully pregnant months growing and carrying our beautiful baby, my pregnancy was very hard, was yours? If you made a post about your ability to wear heels while pregnant would I have the right to report you because I could hardly wear shoes at all?
    I miss the days when motherhood was embraced fully. I am impressed at mothers who can do so much, at the mothers who seem to have it all together...a reason to be offended? Not hardly. I am in awe of the mothers who are able to manage home and work long hours, a reason to be offended? Nope. Nor should another mother be offended that I cloth diaper, or breastfeed, or co-sleep. I co-sleep not because I want my baby to be attached but because he won't sleep any other way and I am so dead tired during the day that I soak up any opportunity to get some sleep. Period. that's the reason. How does needing sleep make anyone better? It's crazy.

    Feed the baby, diaper the baby, clothe the baby - LOVE the baby.

      Some mothers are forced to embrace the natural life. Not all of us woke up one day and said I am going to do everything the natural way, which is definitely not the easy way. I did not know a thing about cloth diapers when our 3 year old was born. He broke out at every single diaper we tried on him, and after a lot of research and painful diaper rashes, we decided to try cloth. The environment had nothing to do with it, neither did cost, neither did being natural. In fact, it took over two years for me to even enjoy washing, folding, figuring out the damn things...throwing a diaper away seems so much easier for me. I breastfeed because it is good for baby to eat..and why pay for formula if I can make milk for free? If I couldn't make milk? Hell yes we would use formula. Would I resent a woman who could breastfeed? NO. Not her fault I couldn't do it. With my first son, I actually had to stop nursing. He had failure to thrive (so they said) but after going back to the doctor a few weeks later and still not weighing much after being on formula, they said "well, he must just be small, he's fine". At that point I had already transitioned to formula..a reason to hate a doctor who tells a woman breast is best? nope..it's not. Why do I like to make our own baby food? Cheap/easy..and of course the idea of not having glass in his food by accident is quite an appealing thought. Why do I like to breastfeed? Free/easy. Does that make me better than anyone else. Not a chance. I have embraced the natural life, and now I love it...but it wasn't always that way.
    It seems everyone gets offended by everything these days. We are angry at other peoples achievements instead of embracing our own. I can't drive a manual, I've tried but I really can't do it. I am IMPRESSED by women who can, I'm not angry, not offended, not jealous. I don't understand this age, everything is a competition. I send hope off into the universe and ask for understanding and love to all styles of parenting. That just because one does something different it doesn't mean they're trying to be better than anyone. I send hope that we will be proud of each others accomplishments rather than make people want to hide their amazing achievements. I send love to all those who feel differently, who feel like it's a competition. I send love to those who feel someone else doing one thing means they are doing wrong. Feed the baby, diaper the baby, clothe the baby - Love the baby.

Just some random thoughts, I guess. It's not right for ANY mother, regardless of how they parent to judge another based on their choices. Natural, not natural, part-natural...who cares. Feed the baby, diaper the baby, clothe the baby - we all love our babies. Really...I just send love. Here is my image..that offended someone.

My Fed Baby

Love,
Mama Bea