What women need.

When I wake up in the morning the first thing I need to do is walk Fred,  our 12 week old basset Hound puppy.  Then I need to brush my teeth, then obviously I need coffee. Then I need to make sure there is enough water in the coffee pot for J to have coffee. I need to make sure I didn't forget to turn on the dishwasher because heaven knows I'm so forgetful. I needed to wake up J.

Throughout the day and weeks I need more and more. I need to work out. I need a new purse or something for class. I need to catch up on editing pictures for or clients ori need to do homework or write an article. The list is never ending of things I need to do. Need to take care of the kids,  found time for a shower,  bathe the dog,  dishes,  laundry,  make sure everyone has full bellies. ..On and on. ..

Why,  I wonder. Why is it so hard to express when we really honestly need something for ourselves?  Something not materialistic. Something much deeper.  We wait until is to late and we are suffering in an empty room in our minds wondering what went wrong or wishing we hadn't made the mistake that stayed the down hill affect you're suffering through. We cannot say we need love. We need forgiven for whatever we did. Why is it so hard to ask for intimacy or a date. Or help around the house for no reason. Why is it difficult to admit sometimes we need to not act our age,  and to be playful and young. We need pushed against a Wall and we need our breath taken away.

Why wait until we are so desperate and so far gone?  To where is beyond a need and now something so strongly desired. It's hard being a woman. So emotional and weak. Yet we are strong. Even in our weakest moments we make it, we survive. We lock these needs away and they only come out when it's turning into resentment,  sadness and depression and worry and wonder as to if we are good enough for our man. Are we pretty enough?  We feel tired all the time but. .. Are we doing enough?  The kids are fed with clean clothes and yet we wonder. .. Are we doing okay?  Are we giving enough?  Then late at night when everyone is so peacefully sleeping. .. You're blogging. Because you feel you give and give and give to the world. The world takes what it wants and you always let it,  because that's what's expected. You ask for what you need. But you never ask for what you really need,  what you long for or desire. And you cry. . And wonder if things will ever be different. You wonder if life will be like this forever.  You wonder if you will ever be forgiven,  honestly forgiven.  But to be held accountable for your mistakes any longer. And you realize that all you need is. .. Nothing.  Tomorrow you will wake up,  and walk the dog. You'll brush your teeth and make coffee. The day will go on like usual and then when the night comes. .. You'll realize again what you really need. .. and you'll cry,  and be sad and worry that you're not good enough for this world,  and you're not cut out for this job. But I am,  and I need sleep so tomorrow I can be okay. 

On Dad and Death

My dad died last night. He had multiple myeloma. After 3 years of fighting the fight is finally over. It's hard to be happy for him even though I should be. He was in alot of pain. Last night I found out in a text message that he had passed away. A text message.

On Being a Businesswoman

     I want to be a businesswoman. I am, to a degree, but I just cannot wait to branch out and be who I know I was meant to be in the business world. I want to make a difference. The sad thing is, once I become a businesswoman...the plan of the business world will be that I lose all sense of self and become a businesswoman. This is part of the deal that I am not thrilled with. There is a certain etiquette that businessmen and woman have to follow and I am not excited about changing my entire life around to accommodate it.  It's a process to become "thee businesswoman". One of my biggest problems is only posting about good, happy thoughts anywhere online where it can be archived. I am a woman, I have my moments. But these things never go away and for that..I may already be screwed. But, those moody moments make my better moments better. My moments of self doubt sometimes help my moments of success even better. When I cry and hurt it makes my laughter and smiles that much better. It's just who I am.

     If all goes right to the business world I will have to lose my beloved nose ring, and I cannot get anymore piercings. Being in the businessperson you have to look very nice, no visible tattoos, piercings beyond the ears viable, and a clean and very professional appearance at all times. This is fine and dandy but I love tattoos, and I love my little nose ring. They show who I really am, my personality. I think this is my biggest problem with the process of changing into the businesswoman. The path that got me to success, will not keep me successful. Let me explain...

      I am only successful now because I work hard and I am myself, an individual person who has grown into this successful person with the help of three young men and my knight, J.. I like to think of myself as intelligent, unique and compassionate about business and individuality. Once I make it to the top (and I will, no doubts) I will have to set aside everything that got me there in the first place. How do we expect to be all that we can be when what gets up somewhere is not looked upon as the proper way to do things? Imagine if all the unique and outgoing businessmen and woman were allowed to act the way they acted before they were successful...the economy would be a great place, full of ideas and unique approaches. I know the first day I have to wear a business suit I am going to have problems refraining from wearing two different colored socks and a sportbra. It's just not acceptable, but why? Honestly, I am honestly asking why - why can we not let individuals stay individuals? Isn't that what makes the world so great? All these ideas from people in different walks of life, and different perspectives. We lose this when we become "a business professional". For myself, I aim to change this.

       J and I want to open our own business someday. Of course this business will include the typical financial records, accounting and operations work...everything that needs to be done will be done. But I have a question...what's wrong with a prettier paper for our financial records? I will sign my name with butterflies doodled around it, and smiley faces where there are positive numbers. Why not? It's cute and it shows who I am...of course, if J prepared paperwork it wouldn't look like that haha! But, that's because that's not who he is.

     Individuality is frowned upon once you get to that level and I think that is really disheartening. Mainly because individuality is what got you to that level in the first place, and once you get there they want you to throw it all away. What gives...ha! So, whats the big idea? I want to change at least a small pore in the face of the business world. I want to walk into a company and be successful within that company because of me, not because I am a business woman. I want to show my skills, show my personality and say "I will land this deal - not because I have a Masters Degree in business but because I am me, and I rock!". When you can relate to the customer on a personal level, and not on the business level..that is where the magic happens. You learn to care about who they are, and they care about who you are. Not your status, or your degree or even your background but who you are now, today, and who you plan on being in the future. Despite tattoos, piercings, weird hair colors or styles. Despite not wanting any kids to having ten kids. To being married to a man or a woman, or the same sex. It should not matter because it's who you are and who you are is how you got to be successful in the first place.

     Refuse to conform, be yourself. Refuse to change for a job, if the job is worth it, it will accept you for who you are. You and I should be recognized for who we are as we traveled upwards to being successful, not who we can change to be after we are successful. Make sense?

   Just some random sad and happy thoughts on being a business woman...I want to be a business woman but I wonder the cost to myself and my family, Ya know?

With unique love,
Bea

If you like my blog, please please please like this post and share it with your friends and family. My success relies on people actually helping get my blog out there....and I really want my wonderful clustered and not organized because I haven't figured out how to yet blog to be successful. <3

Cheese Pizza Wrap - Quick and Easy!

Today was a long day! To start out the day we missed my son's flight to Ohio...that was not good. Then we had to work, so that took a bit of time out of the day. By time I had time to even think about how hungry we all were it was 2pm...so I decided to try something I had seen on Pinterest some time ago. A pizza wrap! Of course I had to add my own flare, because I love Italian seasonings! We were so hungry in fact, that I failed to take pictures of how I made it! But, it's super easy and very flexible.

What you'll need:

-1 can Pillsbury Crescent Rolls (Any brand will probably do)

-6 slices thin sliced Provolone cheese

-About 1/2c Mozzarella

-Pepperoni

-Sausage

-1/4c or less - pizza sauce

-Italian Seasoning

-Parsley

-Oregano

-1 Egg (Separate for just the white)

-Salt

-Garlic Salt

...And anything else you like in your pizza! If you want a ton of fillings, you may need two cans of rolls.

On a greased cookie sheet or pizza stone (I prefer the stone) lay out each triangle of the crescent rolls opposite of each other. After all the crescent rolls are laid out fold cheese in half and lay down the middle of the dough.
Do not put the sauce on the bottom layer, this will make the bread very soggy.
Spoon about 1 inch thick line of sauce down the middle of the bread on top of the folded provalone.
Add the rest of your fillings and top with the mozzarella.

Now the fun part! fold over each roll, and pinch with the other side. You are going to want all of the fillings covered and folded tight. I took my hands and lightly squeezed the entire roll together, so that it would not come apart or open in the oven. Alternate sides, so that you get a semi-braided look.

Brush with egg whites, sprinkle garlic, salt, oregano, italian seasoning, parsley over top and admire the beauty you have just made!

Cook at a preheated oven on 375F for 20 minutes or until done throughout.

This is soooo good, I bet we could make mini ones for each person in the house!

Until Next Time - Eat Swell

Bea

Marketing Yourself, and Tracking Success

     To ensure that your company has the most successful marketing strategy possible it is imperative that they utilize several analytic tools to keep your company on top of the standard practices of web optimization. Ensuring that keywords are utilized but not overly used is important. The keyword tool provided by Google Adwords should be used  to give ideas on keywords to use in their blog posts and anywhere where you use hash tags. Also, you should often check new leads on keywords so that they can update keywords if a keyword is not generating adequate traffic.
     Facebook pages also offers an internal analytics dashboard. The dashboard offers a place where the company can see the total reach of a post, whether a paid promotional post or just a regular post. It also is a place where you can create ads for your page, or organization. The insights graph on the Facebook pages dashboard looks like the graph below. You can see directly what posts generated the most reach and how many people are talking about the posts that where created. This is very helpful in creating posts that are engaging and getting a lot of customer interaction.

       You can also utilize Google Analytics when your business gets big enough. This program offers both a premium version and a free version. The premium version costs upwards of $150,000 per year flat rate so you're going to utilize the free services offered by Google. These reports include custom variables based on the social media site chosen, including Facebook, Twitter and your blog, Custom reporting on said social media networking sites, Advanced demographic segmentation information, analytic intelligence such as traffic and visitor statistics and real time data. This information will ensure that the target market you are directing your efforts towards is indeed who the information is reaching.

Hope this helps!
Bea

How to Make Money Blogging

So I have done a lot of research on blogging and although I am not at the point where I make any money I felt it would be nice to share how you can make money with blogging. I used this website as a basis for my post. 

Built into Blogger are a few tools the blogger can use to track his or her blog progress.
Within the Stats category you will find traffic sources, audience and page views.

Blogger's traffic source tool is a very useful analytic. With this tool the blogger is able to know where their viewers are coming from. This is a great indicator of what keywords are working. After posting a blog with information on a fat free, sugar free health food recipe, a blogger finds that they are getting a lot of views from a website on weight loss. This could be an indication that they would get more views if they posted more recipes that are geared towards this group of viewers. This would hold true for any type of blogger, or blog type.

Secondly, the audience tool is another very useful tool. This tool shows what part of the world viewers are coming from. This can be beneficial knowing that your target audience is actually being targeted.

Thirdly, the page views tool. This tool might be the most beneficial of the three tools. You can view individual post views, or total blog views. Also you can view daily, all time views, or weekly views. Ultimately, page views show whether your blog post is getting traffic, and if your keywords are working. You can juggle around different keywords and see if the post gets more views. More views can potentially mean more earnings, which will be discussed in the next segment.

How to Earn Money by Blogging :

Google Adsense is partnered with Blogger to earn the blogger extra money by blogging. The more posts on the blog, the more opportunities to earn money. AdSense is a service that places ads on the blog posts that are relevant to the blog. The ads are paid for by companies that want to advertise, and purchase PPC ads. Blogger has full control over the ads placed on the blogs. Each time an Ad is clicked, the blogger earns money. You can track the revenue earned under the Earnings tab on Blogger, under this tab the blogger can customize what ads have been shown, clicked on, and how much revenue has been made from the ads.

Guess that's all there is to it. Sounds simple right? It's not. haha! You have to really be on top of your blogging for Adsense to even consider letting them post ads on your page. They will not pay some small blog only posting once a month (like mine haha!) but with hard work I think most people can be successful at blogging. It would be a great source of extra income for stay at home moms, or just people who like to write or have something to say. The blog has to have a specific purpose and not here, there and everywhere. It's particular but if you're really interested in doing it, there is tons of research out there!

An Update on Life

Life has been a roller coaster of events this year. From losing an uncle, to the baby being diagnosed with Autism..it's just been crazy. So much has been going on and sometimes I feel like I am at my breaking point. But, I have a good support system at home and that always helps keep me above the waterline and safe from drowning. I have gotten some emails recently asking me to just post about life and how I manage it all and the truth is...I don't exactly know how I do it. My education is not hard for me, most of the courses I take come really easy for me, but that is not uncommon for me. I have a photographic memory so while reading or studying, things tend to come back pretty easy. Since having Z though, I feel my memory has gotten worse and sometimes I wonder if its because I went so long without getting vaccines and in the last two years I have gotten two. That's another story though.

 I have 20 drafts awaiting me to finish and post and I just keep thinking of all the things I want to post for you all, and myself. My life has always taken sudden changes in directions but recently I think I have found the path that I really want to take. I don't quite understand it yet, but I am learning. I started getting into essential oils when a friend recommended them. I was 100% skeptic and sometimes still am. I believe that skepticism is a normal human behavior but, my life was changed with the use of them. I've become almost obsessed with finding an answer using the oils rather than the traditional way to do things, I feel my family will benefit from this. Anyways that is not what this post is about, this post actually really has no purpose haha!

It's almost spring time here in New Hampshire, the birds sometimes come out now. I am so ready for the ice and snow to be gone and to plant flowers and have dinner outside. I cannot wait to put the pool up for the kids and watch them swim. Last year Z did not like the pool, hopefully this year is different. I am also only taking one class next term, I have gotten tired of classes and overwhelmed with work, home and just everything. So, it was a mutual decision for J and I for me to drop down to one class, to save my sanity! I need the break and I am welcoming it. This means I should have more time to blog this summer as well, hopefully. I have a bunch of gluten free on the grill recipes I have been wanting to try. And also spring time gluten free desserts, smoothies and dinner ideas. I really want to get back to cooking, it's something that I really enjoy. Plus, J got me this amazing spice rack for Christmas and I have yet to use it past the basic oregano, thyme, rosemary, parsley and garlic spices. So I am excited to experiment with some new spices as well. Is there anything you would like to see me attempt?

Not sure if I had posted before about my presidency through Autism Speaks U, Kaplan University. We had a large event last Tuesday and I think it went well. We were able to raise quite a bit of money for Autism research and my heart swells with heartfelt thanks to those who opened their wallets for the cause. The month is not over yet, so hopefully more come! And fundraising isn't limited to April. I love advocating for Autism. When I teach each month in meetings and such I feel so passionate about what I am saying, the same goes for when I am just talking about it. It's such a humbling feeling knowing the words that I am speaking is going somewhere, being spread and making a change in the world.

Well, not much more to say I guess. Going to be writing some posts on detox baths, oil pulling or lack thereof, new recipes soon, a review on Jamberry Nails, and more info on Essential oils most likely. I would also love to introduce you to my new adventures in the books I am writing, I think a lot of people will find it a very interesting study.

But for now, live successfully, live happy and live with purpose!

Bea