Meet 'Eve' the Elf!

Day 1  -  Welcome to Our Home, Eve!

    I am so excited to start this tradition with the kids. Even with distance between Chris and I - we Skyped and we all decided on the name Eve. She looks sweet but I have a feeling she will be doing some pretty mischievous things! I plan on posting here what she does and maybe help compile some ideas for others!

Day 2 - Swinging

Day two! She's swinging, obviously. This actually is easy but...complicated. Wish I would have known how to get it to sit in the toilet paper roll. I ended up wrapping ge twine around and under each arm. Take the twine and put it through the roll and under each arm...then wrap around and go up to hang it on whatever you want. It's easy..if you know what to do. Otherwise she doesn't stay. Haha...haven't decided what I'm going to do tonight yet! 

Happy Thanksgiving!

I have a minute or two so I thought I would say Happy Thanksgiving! Sooooo. ...Happy Thanksgiving!

A Common Misconception

   I need to clear a few things in the air...because the view people have on me is wrong and I know that it is my fault. I do not disagree with the use of modern medicine. In fact, I am grateful for modern/western medicine and how far science has brought the medical world. I am grateful for medicines to help cure cancer, colds, ear infections, and other serious diseases, viruses and infections. Its come to my attention that some of you think that I am this huge anti-medicine hippy..and that is simply not 100% accurate. So why do I push the natural life? I will tell you...

   I love essential oils and I love how they have helped our family flourish into healthier beings. I love that when someone gets hurt I have an immediate on hand pain reliever. When our toddler cannot sleep - I have a natural sleep aid. When I am stressed, tired, lazy, sick or whatever I happen to be that day - I have something that helps with that too. I love that I have watched healing and witnessed what I could only describe as miracles. Of course my life and health is not perfect..yet, but I know that the path we are traveling now will lead to the healthiest and happiest days of our lives.

   It used to be that when I was stressed so badly that I could not get over the funk I would have to call the doctor and have my Xanax increased. I was in pain everyday from my fibromyalgia, I had headaches - migraines, back pain, and intense panic attacks. My life was miserable..all. the. time. I'd wake up and wonder why at my age did I have to be in so much pain...and I would think to myself "How am I going to live when I am old?" If I am in this much pain now...and then add on top of it the natural pains of aging...I would surely be a crippled, cranky, miserable old lady. I was on multiple medications, supplements and lifestyle paths to try to ease some of my discomforts but the medicine only added to my pain, I hated the side effects and sometimes decided it wasn't worth the relief. It was a trade off...HOW would you like to feel? Yet, both options seemed to be painful and miserable ...so I just gave up.

   Not many people know this about me but I started my college career in medical school. I tested out of all of my prerequisites, and was accepted into Nursing school on the track to become a medical assistant. I took 3 courses and decided that the field wasn't for me. I wanted to help others, and I wanted to be in the health field but in those three courses I learned more than my fair share of the negatives that medicines can do to our bodies. I also decided that I would be mentally unable to deal with giving patients treatments that I did not believe in. So I took a leap, and changed paths to where my true passion was..Marketing. I enrolled into college in 2010 as a business major. It was the best decision I ever made for myself, at the time. I still wanted to help people but I knew that I could not help them with their health, so I wanted to become an entrepreneur. My goal - to open and run a 100% self sustaining business...would this be possible? I don't really know..yet.

  Anyways, back to natural living. Another time in my life that a lot of people do not know about is my drug and alcohol infested teens and early 20's. To ease the pain I'd drink, smoke dope, take copious amounts of Xanax, percocets, Vicodin and whatever other medicine I could get my hands on. One of the biggest wake up calls in my lifetime was early 2010 right before I moved from Ohio to New Hampshire. I was in intense pain, crying and so stressed. I was ready to go, ready to just end it all. So, while my son was his Nana's visiting for the night I took a few Xanax, a Flexeril (muscle relaxer), an Oxycontin (a strong pain reliever) and washed it down with about six back to back shots of 1800 Tequila. I don't remember much of anything after doing that..except waking up on the floor several hours later in a puddle of my own drool. I lay on the floor and cried..who had I become? So desperate to feel nothing, no pain, no anxiety and no twitches in my body that I resorted to something that could probably of killed me. What about Christopher? Did he deserve this? ..no, but neither did I. That was my defining moment - health wise. I stopped taking pain medicine unless I needed it and could not bare the pain anymore. I decided to take less Xanax, less medicine all together and I decided I was going to get healthy...but, nothing changed INSIDE my body so I went on with my life in pain and being miserable. During this time I also went through a very nasty divorce, a new relationship, moving 1,000 miles away from where I had called home for my entire life, a new path in school, and working with my son, Christopher and his autism. For almost two years I was a completely upside down person. I was angry or confused...or hurt..or lonely? I don't know...I did feel alone in the world, and I lashed out on the very few people that loved me.  The man that held me at night and told me it was going to be okay was the person who took the most of my anger. He was confused and hurt because he did nothing to deserve what I was giving him and I was so depressed over life and the pain I went through everyday that I was unable to explain to him that it wasn't him. I would find things that made me emotionally upset but I would turn it into something more than it was. I was crazy..a woman on a rampage.

     It hurt and it still hurts to think about how I acted but I have to let that go...I know it wasn't me, the real me. The pain and stress was unbearable at times and I would fall behind on life. Pain led to anger which led to depression and more pain and more anger. I was sick, my brain was sick and my body was slowly murdering itself with pain. I'd take so much medicine to try to make the pain go away but it never worked and little did I know that I was adding to my dismay.

     Early in 2014, an old friend came back into my life in the strangest of ways. I would complain about pain on Facebook and complain about having another headache or that today I couldn't walk. Jane would leave comments on my status and then disappear for another week. Comments like "I need to help you, I have an oil" or "I have these healing oils...lets chat". I didn't ignore her..exactly..but I was busy being in pain and I really didn't know what the hell she was talking about. So, we scheduled a time - eventually - to chat and get together via Skype. It was an amazing chat and we spoke alot about these healing oils...interesting thought, an oil that can help with pain and headaches, stress and infections. Interesting...indeed. So, I jumped on board and ordered the Home Essentials Kit. A few days later I'm looking at these bottles of oil wondering what in the world I got myself into. So that is where I started..exactly where you are - ready for change, ready for a new life? I started not even knowing what an essential oil was and they changed this skeptics life.

    So about medicines. Do I use medicines? You can bet your butt I use medicines. What mother in their right mind would let a child suffer through an ear infection if it seems the oils aren't working? What mother would let their child suffer from an infection if the oils are not seeming to be enough? The oils are so powerful, so complex that we, or at least I, just do not understand the entire complexity of them. I will go to medicines and I am so grateful that they are there. If I go to the hospital, I will not deny medicine unless I know I can. Our thought - Use medicine when necessary but replace as much as you can with nature. We now do not have to go to the doctor except as a last resort. There are many medical problems that we just do not suffer with anymore...Our oldest used to get nose bleeds...after using lemon and lavender three times he hasn't had once since...its been about a year. My stress level is 90% lower, our nonverbal autistic toddler can speak, I'm recently cancer free,  my pain is 80% decreased and I sleep with no sleep aides...not even an oil based sleep aid....I could not list the ways my life has changed without sitting here writing for a week straight. It's just so insane and amazing and I am grateful every single day for the essential oils and natural product knowledge that I have gained. And I am so grateful that my journey has led me on a path that not only allows me to practice business and marketing which I passionately love but also my desire to be in the healthcare field, teaching and inspiring others with treatments and knowledge that I 100% believe in.

   So in summation...we do believe in medicines. We do USE medicines...but its not our first option, and it is our last resort. We love the natural life and we try to be as natural as can be. The truth is..that I just do not know how to be completely 100% natural and I am happy with that. We are rest assured knowing that the chemical load we are putting in our bodies and our children's bodies has drastically decreased and we are going to live longer and healthier as a result. The chemicals, metals and toxins that I have put in my body over the years are slowly leaving...giving me more energy and brain power and I am happy with that.



    So, what is your reason to make a change? Are you tired of living in pain and stress? Looking for an extra income while helping others? I want to teach you what I know...let me show you how your life can change with not only doTERRA, but with other natural alternatives. Email me if you'd like to chat! <3 Beavanhook@gmail.com

With a warm heart and oily hands -
Bea

Please note: Products mentioned in this article have not been evaluated by the FDA. These products and information on this page are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. This website is not a substitute for professional care. If you have or suspect you may have a medical, psychological, or psychiatric problem, or a disability that requires medical attention, then you should consult your licensed medical doctor or appropriate health care provider. Always consult your medical doctor regarding your medical care. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.

I'm stuck in a Brain Rut

   Ahhhh! From time to time I get in this rut...hard to explain. I think it's actually partially a Fibro flare up but I am not sure. This time, however, it's even worse because the Chemo I recently underwent makes it hard for me to snap out of it. I get into this intense slump and cannot seem to catch up with anything. I did do some crafting the other day which was refreshing..but mindless. Anything that takes brain power has been a no-no and it's driving me insane. I am having a hard time with actually getting up and doing things..my hands are like lead tapping along on this keyboard telling you how my brain feels at this moment. 11am and I want to sleep. I want to veg on the couch into a mindless potato and do nothing. But, with kids and life...I am only able to skip out on some things and even then I am giving myself more work in the future.
    The sad thing is, that in one part of my brain I know I have things to do and things I want to do. I have laundry, housework, a newsletter to write, a campaign I should be pushing (more on that later..I think/hope) and other things I need to be getting done..but here I am....and I can't find the strength to get off this chair and do something. I hate it, its probably the worse side effect of life, ever...brain fog. How do I get out of this rut..first, I know I need to be using my oils but sometimes when I get in these moods I am too lazy to even use them..which is sad, because I know if I do - they will help. Self mutilation...brain style.  I have so much to write for you...to tell you, to teach you...I just need to get up and do it. Ugh..

End Vent.

Getting a Toddler Dressed when You're Late...

I woke up around 6:00a the other day and was annoyed that somehow I set my alarm on my cell wrong and it woke me up so damn early. I didn't have to be up until 7:15a. I fell back asleep and set my alarm for 7:00a. I woke up promptly at my desired awakening time and realized (somehow, in my sleep, can you do that?) that I was wrong about when I needed to wake up and 7:15 was the time I needed to leave the house and not the time I needed to wake up. Frantic and without coffee I get up and start getting dressed. I'm quick, I can pull on yoga pants and a shirt quick....but there is another human that I must wake for this early day is for his allergy appointment which is about an hour drive away. So, I thought I'd share the wonderful process of getting Zachary dressed when we are running late, like really late...it takes special parents ...it really does :) 

Step One - Preparing for Success: Before you attempt to wake up the sleeping toddler human, you need to collect your thoughts, get clothes together and make sure the diaper bag is packed. These things will save you valuable seconds and help you speed up the process getting out of the door. You want to make sure you have cereal or fruit in a to-go cup as a peace offing to the child who will be angry with you for skipping out before morning cartoons. 

Step Two - The Awakening: Loudly and with the most exciting voice you can muster..jump into the toddlers room. Yell "(insert child's name)! time to wake up, you're missing all the fun!". This part is really easy. No toddler wants to be sleeping at 7:03am, are you fricking serious. This shouldn't even be a step, or maybe it should just be the end of step one. Ok, this is now step one, part two. 

Step Two (the real step two) - The Diaper: Now that you have awaken the human toddler you can begin the process of dressing said toddler. Typically this will start with removing the nighttime diaper and putting on a new one. You have two choices: 1) hold the human down and make the rest of the day miserable because you made him change his diaper before HE was ready to do that or 2) bribe him with an m&m at 7:04a. Pick your battles, mom. 

 "Hey, let's change your diaper buddy!". He says no. "Mommy is in a big hurry, come here". He says no. Why do I think telling him I'm in a hurry will help anyways? "Oh, I found an m&m" he says "oh ok!" 

Step Three - Shirt and Pants: The key here is to make the process quick and painless. Don't give the toddler enough time to even look at the clothes. PERIOD. This is essential to your success. If they see that you forgot to wash their favorite Thomas shirt..then it's over. You've lost. From this moment on, you're in super speed mode. Get that toddler dressed! 

Step Four - The Socks: Ok, you're tired and it was before coffee when you grabbed the socks. Understandably so, you grabbed one blue car sock and a green plane sock. If your child is like our child...then this is a huge problem. How can you get yourself out of this? 1) Ignore his comments and let him ask over and over and over and over and over and over and over why they're different and he will whine and complain about his socks not matching...all morning. He will also bring it up in five years as a 'remember the time you couldn't even match my socks right?!' Moment...probably in front of his teachers or somewhere important. Or you can do 2) tell him the blue sock needed a friend and the green sock can along to save the day! Have the socks talk to each other for about .08 seconds max. Now, he will talk to his feet and socks all day...but it won't be crying. This will take some major convincing ...but I believe in you, mom, you can do it! 

"Oh this blue sock needed a friend ;(" he comes over, 'aww green friend sock'. He loses, I win but he doesn't have to know that...but I know that and im feeling pretty good by this point. 7:09a. 

Step Five - Nearing the End: so by now, your toddler is awake. He/she is dressed and you have snacks for the go. All this in a 10 minute or less time frame with no coffee. You rock, mom. You rock. 

Now, for boys shoes are usually easy. For Zachary, though, we need to run our shoes through various tests to ensure they are of standard enough to make it through the morning. For each shoe we ensure the highest quality of testing..., does the Velcro stick? Do the lights work when you hit the bottom with your hand? The floor? Moms leg? The table? The other shoe? Do the lights blink fast enough? What is this spot? Shouldn't be there. Clean it. Re-test lighting system....and then allow for the shoe to be placed on each foot with grace. Then the shoe needs tested a third time. The toddler stands, dances, kicks random things throughout the living room. What is this spot here? Clean it. Done. 7:16a. 

Step Six - Getting out of the house, and into the Car: Seems simple right? Wrong. When you're the mother of a toddler, nothing is simple. In order to get out of the house we have to make a huge descion. One that could change the entire outcome of the day....should we take Thomas and Hiro or two cars? You will find that your toddler will try to break your two toy rule and hold three cars and smile big. Don't fall into the trap mom. You're late, but you're going to be even later when you're trying to keep track of more than two toys and he is dropping them everywhere. Hold your ground! 

    Getting into the car is two fold and depends on how well you were able to get out of the house. If he is still upset about leaving behind the third wheel, it could be more difficult. Elbow over the stomach, blocking his ability to escape and shove that toddler into the seat. He will fight, he will scream, but he will not win. Get out of the car, it's 7:20a...pretty good but still late. 

Your tiny human is upset and screaming at you for whatever reason. Take a moment and pay yourself in the back. If you go .5 miles faster than the last time you went to the doctors office you'll make it on time. Your toddler is dressed, clean, and you held your ground with toy limits. The light up shoes are working and up to toddler par. You did well. 

You know, it takes a special person to not go crazy when getting a toddler dressed for a late appointment. But, that's part of being a mom. I wouldn't change our boys for anything and through the chaos and looking back they do pretty well. Now to top off the morning...remember that peace offering of food? Mows the time to use it. Hand back that cup of their favorite breakfast alternative and rock on knowing you're awesome. 

Happy 100!

   I just logged on to start a draft post and realized that this post..the one you are reading right now, is my 100th post here on my blog! Pretty amazing huh! It is to me. I have people to thank for this HUGE accomplishment and they all have the same name - ME. lol! Just kidding, sort of. I write for myself but I do so in hopes that my experiences and writing helps someone else. I just haven't gotten to THAT point that I feel like I am offering any valuable information at this point in time. That will change though. I have so much I want to write about and things I want to make to share and DIY healing things....AHH there aren't enough hours in the day for all I want to do!

   Anyways! Happy 100 to The Kodak Life! I love my Blog!!!!

We are the 1%

  One of the hardest things about having Celiac disease is the assumption from general society that our family giving up Gluten is a trend. For my family this is not a trend, it's a serious medical lifestyle change. Recently, I have been struggling with malnourishment and the inability to absorb important vitamins spite taking upwards of 20 supplements a day. Now our two year old has been diagnosed at the same time we find out he is severely anemic and has a red blood cell abnormality. He has gained less than a pound in a year but we assumed because he eats and has gotten a foot taller that it was okay...turns out that he is also on the road to the same issues as I have. Lucky for him and us, he didn't have to wait so long to find out about it and we can make the necessary changes now for a better tomorrow, tomorrow. I find myself so anxious reading labels in the grocery store and trying to learn what is allowed and what isn't..not because I particularly enjoy moisture deprived food but because I really want to rid the gut pain and medical side effects of this crappy disease.
   It is estimated that only 1% of the population actually have been tested and diagnosed with Celiac disease - but 1/3 of the entire population is trying to eliminate gluten from their everyday diets.  Grocery stores carry a plethora of gluten free products now and more and more it's recommended that you should not eat gluten. Eventually gluten will cause cancer...or something...hell, in 20 years blogging will give you cancer.  Zachary and I are that 1% and for us this is not a trendy fad and it's not easy and it sucks. I get depressed and down that this has become reality - how can something so serious be a fad to so many people? I guess the answer would be because gluten IS bad even if you do not have the dreaded Celiac. Celiac keeps getting that annoying red zig zag line under it - even Webster is perplexed. Guess I need to just suck it up and add it to my computers dictionary huh? Not today though, I'm not ready.
   What is Gluten? Some people are so confused as to what gluten even is. I know I didn't know until this who celiac bomb was dropped one dreadful, probably rainy and cold but humid day at the doctors office. When flour is mixed with water, gluten forms a sticky bond between the small proteins in different grains like wheat. This gluten which is so bad is what makes bread taste so good and noodles - oh my. When the gluten reaches my intestines my body (and anyone with Celiac) attacks against it and causes an immune system war with the gluten. Since gluten is found in so many products the immunity system tends to eventually weaken from the constant battle of the bonds (get it? heh...nevermind). This attack is present even in people without Celiac disease. Be aware - you are killing your immune system with each delightful bagel or piece of lasagna.
   In people with Celiac, the attack is an even more aggressive one. The immune system not only attacks the protiens of gluten but also the enzymes needed by the intestinal track. This attack causes degeneration of the intestines and leads to, which is what I am currently experiencing, lack of the bodies ability to absorb nutrients, digestive problems, anemia, and so many other terrible, awful, sucky things. Long medical lesson short - Celiac may be a trend to come, but it also is a very serious condition.
   Even though gluten does not effect the emotional system directly - the medical conditions that celiac causes does cause a lot of emotional issues. There are days when the hustle of the grocery store depresses me. To be able to whiz through the store again and not worry what a label says..ahh the wonderful dreams I have! The more our son, Zachary's condition comes into light the more I hate the fact that the world has been poisoned with so many unnatural chemicals, toxins and just in general shit that doesn't belong in our food. I am angry sometimes that the world is being brainwashed with this whole chemicals and toxins fix you but the things provided by the Earth cannot. Do you really think that if a Prozac was meant to fix the brain that it wouldn't grow on trees? Seriously, why do we trust a mix of chemicals - some we are not even suppose to touch, ingest or even breathe in - but do not trust a natural lifestyle? Ahh I am getting off track. The whole healthcare industry confuses me...if only it would magically fix itself. The more doctors I see who tell me I need medicine for this or that...everything I need is right here on Earth...and I shouldn't need a prescription for it.

Annnnyways,
  I just wanted to say this to those who say things like "Yeah, gluten free huh? It's a good trend right now" or "Oh following the fads these days huh?" - Get educated. Don't assume. And don't say stupid things like that to someone you do not know. Having Celiac is hard. It hurts, it's expensive and it's frustrating. No, I do not like flat hard bread that my kids think are the consistency of a burnt cookie but tasted like a crunchy, dried out piece of ..."if tan
had a taste" taste (ha, that was a failed attempt at MOIST gluten free bread). I understand that it's hard to keep up to date on the entire medical dictionary but there is always the wise old saying "If you do not have something nice to say - then shut the F&*% up".

The End.

 

I'm Happy You Were Born

    Ah, where to begin. My youngest son is two today. I woke up this morning like every other morning except..I officially do not have a baby anymore. Z woke up oblivious to the fact that he was another year older and was just focused on wanting to wear a Thomas the Train shirt that is way too big. Picking my battles.  I remember when Christopher turned two, he wore a special "I'm two" outfit and was dressed to the nines from head to toe. He was dirty in 30 minutes and hated being dirty. There went that outfit. I didn't even attempt to dress Z special for his special day..he's special enough without some fancy outfit I'll put on him once.

    Zachary, I am so happy you exist. I am so happy you were born, so blessed that you took your first breathe of air only after residing in my womb for over 9 months. The moment I felt that first flutter of movement in my belly was the beginning of the never ending movement of your body. You never rest, even now. The flips, and turns and twirling. The jumping and running and rolling around...it's you. From the moment I felt you, it was you. You have taught me that love is endless. You have taught me that even when I feel I can fight no more, I can. I will be here for you forever, you are always my baby and I am always your mommy. Being your mother has been the absolute greatest joy and I am so very blessed to have you as mine. Over the past two years I have felt the heartache of learning about your seizures and going through yet another autism diagnosis. I felt like giving up so many times..but how do you give up? You cannot..and you got me through that, my little Z. I love you to the moon and alllll the way to the bottom of the deepest ocean and allll the way back to the moon!

    I always feel so nostalgic on birthdays. I hope for the future that each year he grows just as much as the last, that his blessings in life multiply and only get bigger. I cannot imagine what this next year will hold but I only hope for the best. <3 <3

Little Z is two. 

He knows his ABC's

He can say about 70 words

He knows a ton of bugs and animals by pointing

He knows about 20 signs for words

He knows the colors red, blue, green, yellow, black and purple
He dislikes sleeping, sitting still and sour tastes
He loves trains, cars and airplanes
He loves sports like soccer, throwing balls and golf
He loves books, learning games and his iPad

Z drinks from an open faced cup

Z is officially weaned as of about 2 weeks ago

Happy Birthday Z

Mommy Lovesss you!

What's Eating Christopher Aaron

Me and Z

   Christopher has been asking me a lot about Autism lately. He hears the word, he knows he has Autism but he really isn't sure what it is. I answer the best I can but he always seems to take me the wrong way and I have trouble explaining myself. Today has been a pretty laid back day so I decided to flip on Netflix and watch movies with the boys. I honestly had never saw "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" so decided not only did I want to see the classic anyways, but I thought it would be good for Christopher to watch it also. Not only from the Autistic side of things but because its a story of hope, love and compassion.
      The first scene of the movie where Arnie was waiting on the campers to come down the road; the scene where Arnie is yelling in excitement waiting..that is the moment I was reminded how beautiful my son really is. He looked at me and...

Chris "Mommy, which one has Autism?"
Me "The one yelling and excited about the campers"
Chris "Why do they say he has Autism?"
Me "Well, his behavior and other things..."
Chris "I feel like yelling sometimes when I am excited, too!"
Me "Yeah?"
Chris "Yeah, but you know...I still don't see anything wrong with him. I don't see the Autism, do you?"

    I am not sure why this moment hit me like a ton of bricks but it did. He doesn't see the autism. Throughout the movie he was confused as to why I said this was a movie about autism. He noticed what Arnie did, and how he acted but just said "Well, he's upset" or "Well, Gilbert hit him", "It's okay to be afraid of water". Too many times we see autism, or other disorders and not often enough to we just see one singular emotion. Arnie was autistic, but was it autism that made him afraid of water? No, Gilbert left him all night in water...that is why he was afraid of water. Everyday when he yells or talks loud, doesn't want to eat, has that little sassy attitude that drives me nuts I find myself trying to remind myself that he is autistic and maybe he cannot help it.
   When Christopher was diagnosed with Autism six years ago I dealt with it fairly well. I listened to the doctors, researched and advocated for my son as much as I could and more. When Z was diagnosed with Autism I felt like my world had come crashing down. I was more than happy to advocate and work with Christopher, the struggles were worth it, they were pretty much not even an option but that doesn't mean it wasn't hard and that I would jump up and volunteer to do it again. Yet here I found myself seven years later in a similar situation. Some days when I just look at them I feel sad. They are so different but they have this one thing, this one BIG thing in common - Autism. Watching Gilbert handle his brother, his frustration and love, was so inspiring to me. Obviously, my kids are on a much higher level of functioning than Arnie was and this also was something I was grateful for.
    When Christopher did not notice anything different about Arnie my mind went into a deeper level of thought than it had in a while. I felt this love that was hidden under my impatience and frustration and then I felt sad, sad that I even felt frustration. Looking from the outside into a movie seems silly but for me it was a huge eye opener. I wonder how confused my kids feel when I yell at them for something they cannot control or for emotions and actions that they can't help or don't understand themselves. If I was inside their minds when I asked them "what is wrong with you?" or "What were you thinking when you did that!", I wonder what I would see or feel. I wonder if it would hurt or if they would feel anger. I wonder if when they say they don't know why they do something, if they really mean it. I wonder if they say they can't do something or can't eat or say something if they really cannot.

Chris and I

         I think the biggest thing I took from him not seeing autism is me seeing their autism. Everyday, every hour I see it. When I take a picture and have to convince Christopher to look at the screw on the front of my camera to make it not sound like looking at my face...I see autism. When he talks like he has a megaphone attached to his mouth 24/7 ...I hear autism. When Z cannot say what he wants, or explain how he feels...I hear autism. When Z gets upset and bangs his head so hard that he bruises, yet doesn't seem to mind...I see autism. The question I ask myself now is...Why am I not seeing my kids?! Why do I instantly think autism? To them, this is not autism but this is them. To them their emotions are not autism, it is their emotions, it is them.
         I challenge myself and I challenge everyone else to stop seeing autism. Let's see the person, lets see them. I do not want to explain that my son has bruises on his forehead because he has autism, I want to just say he has bruises because that's Z. And I want that explanation to be enough. I don't want to explain that Christopher has autism and that is why the cook at a restaurant cannot have a single pepper speck showing on his chicken strip, I want to just say he's upset because there is a speck of pepper on his chicken and Christopher doesn't like that. And I want that explanation to be enough.  Even though when I look at my kids I see autism and I hear autism, I need to also see them and not assume all of their little personality quirks are always autism. Hell, maybe my kids are just more like me than I give them credit for and they are just weird.
     I always have trouble ending a post. I never know how to end something so open-ended. I guess I can add to my thoughts later, but wanted to get out how I was feeling now. I love that when least expected I get hit hard right in the heart. I need these moments because these are what gets mothers like me through to the next day. Autism isn't easy, parenting isn't easy, and being Christopher and Z's mom definitely isn't easy. But let me tell you...it is worth every exhausting second of it. It's worth every drop in gas spent on going to social group, every early morning waking up for speech therapy, and every extra hour it takes to explain something that a 'normal' child would understand in one sentence. It's worth it not because they have autism but because they are Christopher and Z and I am the luckiest mother in the world simply because of them.

    So what's eating Christopher Aaron?...apparently, nothing is.

Happy Father's Day from Earth

     Each year on fathers day I make two phone calls. One to my father and one to my step father. I always tell Jim how much I appreciate him as the father of our children also. This year will be different. ..I will be making one phone call and then saying a little father's day prayer. It's hard to wrap my head around that my father has passed away,  even though it's been almost two months. Does it get easier?  Each holiday or occasion I think I need to call so and so and then I remember that I can't call him. I know he isn't in pain anymore and he isn't suffering but lord knows I did not have enough time with him. I wasn't able to say what I needed to say and we weren't able to do what we needed to do.
     Last year around this same time we were talking about playing a round of golf and teasing each other about who would kick who's butt. We never played that round and I am regretful although I know it's not that big of a deal. I wonder if it will ever get easier or if ever year I will feel that pain and tightness in my throat, tears trying to fall and my chest heavy remembering I won't ever hear him sing or joke or just tell me he loves me again. I want to call and tell him I love him one more time and hear him say 'I know honey,  I love you too'. I want to call and tell him I'm going to beat him up and him ask me if I need a smack down (you'd have to know him to understand). I used to make jokes that I was going to stick him in the best nursing closet I could find...He would tell me he would cause so much trouble no one would let him stay and I'd be forced to take care of him and he would make my life a nightmare. He was a riot. Sometimes I feel sad when I make a joke or stupid face to my kids. I know I get that from him. I try to be happy that I am like him in a lot of ways but then I remember he's gone...he's really gone.

     What I'd do to say I love you dad one more time to him. To joke with him and talk about life and living right with him.  Happy Father's Day, Dad. Hope you're loving it up there in heaven. Hope you have a great first father's day with Brandy. Sing me a song tomorrow, okay? 

Love Your favorite daughter ever, I am pretty sure... <3
I Love You,
Britt

Morning Thoughts ...on health and other things

I am feeling a whirlwind of emotion lately. I am up and down and over there and back around and it's crazy. Most of the time I am not even sure how I am feeling. Last week we found out that our Z also has seizures..on top of the Autism and Sensory now we need to worry about flashing lights etc. Then yesterday I get lab results back and I am extremely vitamin deficient and really need to bump up the healthy living way of living. No gluten at all, I really need to rid of this so I can get healthy. I was put on a ton of new supplements and I am not even sure how my stomach is going to manage this many but I am sure it will. Instead of being upset about these new found medical conditions to add to our list, I feel numb. I feel like it keeps piling on and after so long you just kind of accept that something else is coming. It doesn't even hurt to think that way anymore. I can think of only positives from my test results...beginning of understanding the daily pain, the start of a new healthy life. As for the seizures our two year old is having, well there are really no positives I can think of. I guess I am glad they caught it early enough that we know that there is a problem. Is that even a positive?

Today I am starting with a cleanse that I have been excited but mostly anxious about starting. My goal is to jumpstart the unloading process of harmful toxins in my major organs. Today I start on an oil to detox the liver called Zendrocrine. You can get it through doTERRA, I sell for them also but this post has nothing to do with that. The oil is suppose to help the bodies natural ability to detox of toxins from the body, mainly in the liver. doTERRA also carries a blend that does more, but I am going to start with what I have and that's the oil and I will put the oil in my capsules myself. I am mainly worried about side effects and gut pain. I have lived a lot of years not eating or living right and I am afraid of the cleanse. This isn't suppose to be a harsh cleanse but that doesn't seem to be taking my mind off the potential for pain.

Good news of the day is that I woke up this morning minus the fibro flare up I have been struggling with over the past three days...This new lifestyle will also help minimize or eliminate the flareups. It's hard with three kids to have flare ups so bad that you feel you cannot move or wake up. Thank the good Lord for giving me a good man to help with everything while I am down. Fibro is an unseen condition yet consistently he can see it. He knows when I need him and he never seizes to deliver and everyday I wake up and he is with me, I feel thankful and blessed. I do not show him enough how much I appreciate him, some days I don't know how. I feel like just saying it isn't enough, and I need to do more..but what?

Anyways, this is just a long drawn out morning post. I woke up with the puppy at 5:30a again to potty so I decided I wanted to write. Drinking my coffee and talking to the universe right now. Not sure how to settle down my thoughts and emotions. Its so hard to explain, that I feel overloaded with emotions yet so numb. I feel so deserving of these conditions yet I know I do not deserve them. I hope I do not pass any of this on to my kids, I wouldn't wish my health on my enemy. I think that may be my main concern; passing my health onto my children. I feel if I change my lifestyle it obviously changes theirs too, and that is a good thing. So we will see how the changes goes. No sugar, no gluten and I think I will be completely cutting out grains for myself. Fresh, natural and organic. Enough of this toxin overload that we are doing to our systems...I am tired of dying over food and that is exactly what is happening. I am killing my own body with the very food I have eaten to survive and that...that my friend, is a big problem.

On being a 'Photo-Parent' *Pic Heavy*

    I cannot tell you the countless times people have admired the images I have taken (or J has taken) of our children. People always comment on how our kids are lucky to have photographer parents and that they must be pros by now so taking a really great image of them isn't really that difficult. This post, this one right here...the one you are reading..I am writing to debunk the theory that it is easy to take pictures of our children. Because in reality..it is anything but easy.

    I got the idea in my mind to do a super cute, very boyish photo shoot of our youngest boy, Z since he will be turning the big 2 next week. This is how it went...a story through pictures.

Here is the outfit I chose for him, cute right?

He would not sit still, this ball was the exception in the pictures I was willing to make at first

Classic...what are you doing mama?

.......

And a visit from the puppy...

Z thinks he looks better with his vest half on...

And now, for some reason he thinks it's time to play sleep!

Surprise Mom! I tricked you, I wasn't sleeping!

Hey mama, take a picture of my ball! (This is me catching him throwing the ball at me...)

This orchid leaf didn't taste as expected....

Ut Oh...Mama's not smiling ...

.....Better look cute for a second!

She keeps saying "Look, Z!" So I will look at the wall...hehe

I am so funny!

....

.....

Oh, she said do not touch the strobe cord...I'll have to ignore that

Lil' Stinker

This giggle, the entire time, is what makes being a photo-mom worth it. Even though it takes hours to get the shot you really adore...looking at your 'outtakes' and remembering the moments during your photoshoot is really what you will remember. Every single one of these pictures shows our little Z's personality and I would not change him for anything. He is so obnoxious, and so independent...and our little man is going to be two <3

Z

Coupon Tips #1

   I am totally ready to start trying new recipes again. We have decided to cut sugar from the diet. We've already been slowly cutting out gluten in light of my Celiac. So now, it's time to break some rules, break out some books and tricks and discover some new yummy low sugar to no sugar gluten free yummy dinners that the kids and ourselves will eat. This is surely going to be a task! I have been saving a ton of money with coupons which is super exciting!

    I've been asked to share a few tips on coupons so here are some that I have learned over time...

1) Be aware of all coupon policies. Create a binder for your coupons and print out all of the local store coupon policies to have on hand. Becoming familiar with these policies puts yiu above a cashier who may not want to honor a coupon. They are out there, trust me. They are rude, sometimes very inconsiderate and look down upon you. You need to overcome this, because you're saving money and there is NOTHING wrong with this. Actually it's super awesome!

2) Get the Sunday paper, two if you can. Three if you want. Sunday papers have wonderful coupons in them and most you cannot find online. It's important to subscribe if you can to the weekend paper because it's much cheaper this way. Here where I live there are no newspapers that deliver. If you find yourself in this position, make a trip to the closest store that carries them...easy peasy.  If you know neighbors who do not coupon but get the newspaper ask them for their coupon inserts. You can really save a ton of money with these golden sheets of coupons =)

3) Become aware with coupon printing websites. There are three major sites...redpum.com, coupons.com, and smartsource.com. You can often visit your favorite brands website and get coupons also.

4) Look at sale ads, coupons, and store deals before making your grocery list. You are going to start making your meal plan around what is on sale.

5) Understand coupon lingo. Understand stock up sales mean serious cash saved. It may seem stupid to buy 10 boxes of cereal but over time you're saving money. Here is some important lingo you should become aware of.

Coupon lingo:

$1/1, $1/2: One dollar off one item, one dollar off two items, etc.
2/$1, 3/$2: Two items for one dollar, three items for two dollars, etc.
B1G1: Buy one item get one item free
B2G1: Buy two items get one item free
Blinkies: Grocery/drugstore coupon dispensers with blinking lights
Catalina: Catalina coupon, prints from a separate machine when your receipt prints
DND: Do not double
Ea.: Each
ECBs: ExtraCare Bucks, CVS loyalty rewards system
ETS: Excludes trial size
Exp.: Expires
GC: Gift card
IVC: Instant Value Coupon, Walgreens' store coupons
MIR: Mail-in rebate
NLA: No longer available
OYNO: On your next order
OOP: Out of pocket
OOS: Out of stock
Peelie: Peel-off coupon found on product packaging
PSA: Prices starting at
RRs: Register Rewards, Walgreens' Catalina coupons
Q: Coupon
SCR: Single Check Rebate, Rite Aid monthly rebates program
Stacking: Using both a manufacturer's coupon and a store coupon on one item
UPC: Universal product code, bar code
Tearpad: Pad of coupons attached to a display, shelf, or refrigerator door.
+UP Reward: Rite Aid reward program
WYB: When you buy

6) DO NOT BUY something you do not need. Sometimes getting an item for free or extremely discounted is temping. But do not waste money, buying something just because you have a coupon is not the proper way to coupon. However, sometimes getting free items or discounted items that may benefit a local food pantry is okay. Go ahead and get a ton of food and personal items and donate them.

7) Make up care packages for soldiers or children in need with products you are overstocked on. You can and should buy full priced items for the care packages however you can offer a lot more when you use coupons. You can do great things with couponing.

8) Do not become greedy. Do not become a hoarder. Buy what you need for your family, but only what you need for your family. This goes along with number 6. You do not want couponing to become a problem. This is very, very important. A good rule of thumb is 3 months for boxed goods ie. cereal, hamburger helper, mac and cheese. 6 months for canned goods and it varies depending on sale items for meat.

9) Purchase a binder and find an organization method that works for you. There are tons of resources online for ways to organize a coupon binder. Keep it updated or you will lose all kinds of track of it. Seriously.

10) Couponing is fun. Couponing is rewarding and empowering. When I walk out of a market with $300 worth of groceries for my family and only forked out $100, I feel proud, and just overall overjoyed. My freezer is always full of great meats. We eat our favorite cereal, and meals now. Feeding the animals is cheaper. Washing our bodies, home and laundry is cheaper. Everything is just cheaper. Saving money is important to a lot of people.

Some people feel bad about using coupons and they feel like they are ripping the store off and making the economy worse. This is NOT true. The face value of a coupon is a tax write off for the store, or reimbursed by the company that offers the coupon. Take advantage of stacking coupons which means taking a store coupon or sale and stacking it with a manufacturers coupon (these are the printable coupons or the ones you find in the newspaper)/ This can save you even more money!

Most of all, have fun and save tons!

Much Luv,
Lady Bea

My Story - An Idea..

Before I go to bed for the night I decided I want to put an idea I had today out there. I want to write my story. A story I have had in my mind forever, I have started it at least fifty times but never really finished it. Once I got over 200 pages in only to have all my hard work burnt before my eyes. It hurt. I have always felt like I needed to jump back onto it but always had that pain on my mind. I've decided, I think, to write a chapter a week or every other week and post it here. Within a year, perhaps two depending on how well I stay on task, I will have written my book.

I will not share this story until I have figured out labels. This way those who are not interested in reading it will not even have to see it. There will be material that may be triggers or be very upsetting to some. The story is based on extreme child abuse and will be detailed accounts of abuse. I just do not want anyone who does not want to see this sort of story to have to see it.

Anyways, that is my idea! So, I think I will go shower now (for real this time haha) and get some shut eye!

Much Luv,
Lady Bea

My "Motherly" Thoughts

    Being a mother to me is more than being the person who carried a child in my womb for nine months. I consider a mother the woman who takes care of anything in a parental way. They teach, direct, discipline, and love whoever or whatever it is that they are mothering. When I say that I am the mother of my puppy, our cats, our fish..it's because I really think I am. I am their adopted mother. I am caring for them, teaching them, feeding them etc. So yesterday, I was thinking about being the mother of the house and decided to write about being a mother, and the crazy thoughts that go through my mind in any given day. You might think I am weird, but I don't care haha!

    I have always felt like I would make a great 'human' mother. And I think I am. I lose my patience and need a break sometimes but who doesn't? Having three boys isn't easy and sometimes I find myself wondering what goes through their minds. Z having a lack of vocabulary leaves me wondering what's going through his little head. Why does he think the dog is a cow? but then a cow is a cow? Fred, the dog, in no way looks or sounds like a cow. Why is he afraid of Mr. Potato head...is it how he feels? Why was he afraid of a flower yesterday, after I picked it but not before? Weird..no answers.
   Why is Fred afraid of Gracie the kitten? Fred could probably eat her in two bites yet she can back him in a corner and make him cry. Blizzard at least leaves Fred alone. Came across a coyote and Fred laid on the sidewalk and surrendered his death to the animal. Nice watch dog. I just wonder how to teach this pup sometimes, he seems like such a blockhead. He cannot stand not seeing me, walking out side is torture on him. I think this is normal for some dogs, and I am glad he loves me. I just love having a puppy under my feet and a toddler who doesn't want me to put him down. Gracie who thinks every sound of metal is a can of food..Blizzard who is on the prowl most moments...then there is the fish...ah the fish...
    The fish are most difficult. They cannot speak, or signal anything. They come to the top of the tank when you walk near them...are they hungry? or happy to see me? I feed them and its gone in a moment...are they still hungry? Should I feed them more? If I feed them more the water will get dirty and will stress them out..but..am I starving them? Do they like their tank? Are they happy? Is it weird to care about how happy our fish are? Is this typical fin-mothering? I get sad some days that the goldfish are in the babies room where they never see sunlight or people unless its morning or bedtime. Does this make them sad or depressed. They are fish...but how much do we really know about fish emotion? A fish will die from sadness or anxiety..and their growth will blossom in happy environments and they will mate and make fry. So, obviously fish emotion is very important and obviously there...and I optimizing their happiness? Or are they in a lonely world of ...waiting for more.
    C sent me a mothers day package. It was paid to arrive on Saturday however it did not arrive. He called me at least four times on Sunday and we Skyped once and every time was the same.. "Did your package come?" Over and over I told him it hadn't, it was okay, and that the mail doesn't run on Sundays. He kept asking, so sad that his package didn't arrive in time. Why doesn't he grasp the concept that the mail does not run on Sunday? I only told him eight times at least and this doesn't count repeating during each call, or message or video call.  I felt terrible when he found out it wasn't going to come and he started crying because he was so upset.
   Why is being a mother so difficult? Nothing worthwhile is easy I suppose. The thoughts that go through my mind on a daily basis are sometimes hilarious. Sometimes I wonder if anyone heard my thoughts would they think I was going crazy. Maybe I am crazy? Who wonders if their fish are still hungry or if they're depressed? I want to help our Z overcome his fear of these very weird things...and help him overcome his inability to speak. Which..is getting better thankfully. I think it would be an awesome thing if for one day I knew what was going through all of our "children's" minds..cats, dog, fish included. I guess...this is pretty open ended because I am not sure what else to say. Sometimes I wonder why I think the things I think and am I worrying about stupid and unimportant things? Ah who knows haha!

...Guess I am signing out...
Mama Bea

    

A Recipe in the Making..

Soooo I got the urge the other day to make something delish..so I decided to make brownies with toffee AND caramel!...How could you go wrong with that! I will post the recipe when I get it right. It's not that it was wrong, but since I had never made it before and had to improvise with some of the ingredients and it didn't turn out exactly how I would make it again. None the less...doesn't this look so good?!

I'll keep trying and update when I get it perfect! We're all on the journey together <3 data-blogger-escaped-br="">

What women need.

When I wake up in the morning the first thing I need to do is walk Fred,  our 12 week old basset Hound puppy.  Then I need to brush my teeth, then obviously I need coffee. Then I need to make sure there is enough water in the coffee pot for J to have coffee. I need to make sure I didn't forget to turn on the dishwasher because heaven knows I'm so forgetful. I needed to wake up J.

Throughout the day and weeks I need more and more. I need to work out. I need a new purse or something for class. I need to catch up on editing pictures for or clients ori need to do homework or write an article. The list is never ending of things I need to do. Need to take care of the kids,  found time for a shower,  bathe the dog,  dishes,  laundry,  make sure everyone has full bellies. ..On and on. ..

Why,  I wonder. Why is it so hard to express when we really honestly need something for ourselves?  Something not materialistic. Something much deeper.  We wait until is to late and we are suffering in an empty room in our minds wondering what went wrong or wishing we hadn't made the mistake that stayed the down hill affect you're suffering through. We cannot say we need love. We need forgiven for whatever we did. Why is it so hard to ask for intimacy or a date. Or help around the house for no reason. Why is it difficult to admit sometimes we need to not act our age,  and to be playful and young. We need pushed against a Wall and we need our breath taken away.

Why wait until we are so desperate and so far gone?  To where is beyond a need and now something so strongly desired. It's hard being a woman. So emotional and weak. Yet we are strong. Even in our weakest moments we make it, we survive. We lock these needs away and they only come out when it's turning into resentment,  sadness and depression and worry and wonder as to if we are good enough for our man. Are we pretty enough?  We feel tired all the time but. .. Are we doing enough?  The kids are fed with clean clothes and yet we wonder. .. Are we doing okay?  Are we giving enough?  Then late at night when everyone is so peacefully sleeping. .. You're blogging. Because you feel you give and give and give to the world. The world takes what it wants and you always let it,  because that's what's expected. You ask for what you need. But you never ask for what you really need,  what you long for or desire. And you cry. . And wonder if things will ever be different. You wonder if life will be like this forever.  You wonder if you will ever be forgiven,  honestly forgiven.  But to be held accountable for your mistakes any longer. And you realize that all you need is. .. Nothing.  Tomorrow you will wake up,  and walk the dog. You'll brush your teeth and make coffee. The day will go on like usual and then when the night comes. .. You'll realize again what you really need. .. and you'll cry,  and be sad and worry that you're not good enough for this world,  and you're not cut out for this job. But I am,  and I need sleep so tomorrow I can be okay. 

On Dad and Death

My dad died last night. He had multiple myeloma. After 3 years of fighting the fight is finally over. It's hard to be happy for him even though I should be. He was in alot of pain. Last night I found out in a text message that he had passed away. A text message.

On Being a Businesswoman

     I want to be a businesswoman. I am, to a degree, but I just cannot wait to branch out and be who I know I was meant to be in the business world. I want to make a difference. The sad thing is, once I become a businesswoman...the plan of the business world will be that I lose all sense of self and become a businesswoman. This is part of the deal that I am not thrilled with. There is a certain etiquette that businessmen and woman have to follow and I am not excited about changing my entire life around to accommodate it.  It's a process to become "thee businesswoman". One of my biggest problems is only posting about good, happy thoughts anywhere online where it can be archived. I am a woman, I have my moments. But these things never go away and for that..I may already be screwed. But, those moody moments make my better moments better. My moments of self doubt sometimes help my moments of success even better. When I cry and hurt it makes my laughter and smiles that much better. It's just who I am.

     If all goes right to the business world I will have to lose my beloved nose ring, and I cannot get anymore piercings. Being in the businessperson you have to look very nice, no visible tattoos, piercings beyond the ears viable, and a clean and very professional appearance at all times. This is fine and dandy but I love tattoos, and I love my little nose ring. They show who I really am, my personality. I think this is my biggest problem with the process of changing into the businesswoman. The path that got me to success, will not keep me successful. Let me explain...

      I am only successful now because I work hard and I am myself, an individual person who has grown into this successful person with the help of three young men and my knight, J.. I like to think of myself as intelligent, unique and compassionate about business and individuality. Once I make it to the top (and I will, no doubts) I will have to set aside everything that got me there in the first place. How do we expect to be all that we can be when what gets up somewhere is not looked upon as the proper way to do things? Imagine if all the unique and outgoing businessmen and woman were allowed to act the way they acted before they were successful...the economy would be a great place, full of ideas and unique approaches. I know the first day I have to wear a business suit I am going to have problems refraining from wearing two different colored socks and a sportbra. It's just not acceptable, but why? Honestly, I am honestly asking why - why can we not let individuals stay individuals? Isn't that what makes the world so great? All these ideas from people in different walks of life, and different perspectives. We lose this when we become "a business professional". For myself, I aim to change this.

       J and I want to open our own business someday. Of course this business will include the typical financial records, accounting and operations work...everything that needs to be done will be done. But I have a question...what's wrong with a prettier paper for our financial records? I will sign my name with butterflies doodled around it, and smiley faces where there are positive numbers. Why not? It's cute and it shows who I am...of course, if J prepared paperwork it wouldn't look like that haha! But, that's because that's not who he is.

     Individuality is frowned upon once you get to that level and I think that is really disheartening. Mainly because individuality is what got you to that level in the first place, and once you get there they want you to throw it all away. What gives...ha! So, whats the big idea? I want to change at least a small pore in the face of the business world. I want to walk into a company and be successful within that company because of me, not because I am a business woman. I want to show my skills, show my personality and say "I will land this deal - not because I have a Masters Degree in business but because I am me, and I rock!". When you can relate to the customer on a personal level, and not on the business level..that is where the magic happens. You learn to care about who they are, and they care about who you are. Not your status, or your degree or even your background but who you are now, today, and who you plan on being in the future. Despite tattoos, piercings, weird hair colors or styles. Despite not wanting any kids to having ten kids. To being married to a man or a woman, or the same sex. It should not matter because it's who you are and who you are is how you got to be successful in the first place.

     Refuse to conform, be yourself. Refuse to change for a job, if the job is worth it, it will accept you for who you are. You and I should be recognized for who we are as we traveled upwards to being successful, not who we can change to be after we are successful. Make sense?

   Just some random sad and happy thoughts on being a business woman...I want to be a business woman but I wonder the cost to myself and my family, Ya know?

With unique love,
Bea

If you like my blog, please please please like this post and share it with your friends and family. My success relies on people actually helping get my blog out there....and I really want my wonderful clustered and not organized because I haven't figured out how to yet blog to be successful. <3

Cheese Pizza Wrap - Quick and Easy!

Today was a long day! To start out the day we missed my son's flight to Ohio...that was not good. Then we had to work, so that took a bit of time out of the day. By time I had time to even think about how hungry we all were it was 2pm...so I decided to try something I had seen on Pinterest some time ago. A pizza wrap! Of course I had to add my own flare, because I love Italian seasonings! We were so hungry in fact, that I failed to take pictures of how I made it! But, it's super easy and very flexible.

What you'll need:

-1 can Pillsbury Crescent Rolls (Any brand will probably do)

-6 slices thin sliced Provolone cheese

-About 1/2c Mozzarella

-Pepperoni

-Sausage

-1/4c or less - pizza sauce

-Italian Seasoning

-Parsley

-Oregano

-1 Egg (Separate for just the white)

-Salt

-Garlic Salt

...And anything else you like in your pizza! If you want a ton of fillings, you may need two cans of rolls.

On a greased cookie sheet or pizza stone (I prefer the stone) lay out each triangle of the crescent rolls opposite of each other. After all the crescent rolls are laid out fold cheese in half and lay down the middle of the dough.
Do not put the sauce on the bottom layer, this will make the bread very soggy.
Spoon about 1 inch thick line of sauce down the middle of the bread on top of the folded provalone.
Add the rest of your fillings and top with the mozzarella.

Now the fun part! fold over each roll, and pinch with the other side. You are going to want all of the fillings covered and folded tight. I took my hands and lightly squeezed the entire roll together, so that it would not come apart or open in the oven. Alternate sides, so that you get a semi-braided look.

Brush with egg whites, sprinkle garlic, salt, oregano, italian seasoning, parsley over top and admire the beauty you have just made!

Cook at a preheated oven on 375F for 20 minutes or until done throughout.

This is soooo good, I bet we could make mini ones for each person in the house!

Until Next Time - Eat Swell

Bea

Marketing Yourself, and Tracking Success

     To ensure that your company has the most successful marketing strategy possible it is imperative that they utilize several analytic tools to keep your company on top of the standard practices of web optimization. Ensuring that keywords are utilized but not overly used is important. The keyword tool provided by Google Adwords should be used  to give ideas on keywords to use in their blog posts and anywhere where you use hash tags. Also, you should often check new leads on keywords so that they can update keywords if a keyword is not generating adequate traffic.
     Facebook pages also offers an internal analytics dashboard. The dashboard offers a place where the company can see the total reach of a post, whether a paid promotional post or just a regular post. It also is a place where you can create ads for your page, or organization. The insights graph on the Facebook pages dashboard looks like the graph below. You can see directly what posts generated the most reach and how many people are talking about the posts that where created. This is very helpful in creating posts that are engaging and getting a lot of customer interaction.

       You can also utilize Google Analytics when your business gets big enough. This program offers both a premium version and a free version. The premium version costs upwards of $150,000 per year flat rate so you're going to utilize the free services offered by Google. These reports include custom variables based on the social media site chosen, including Facebook, Twitter and your blog, Custom reporting on said social media networking sites, Advanced demographic segmentation information, analytic intelligence such as traffic and visitor statistics and real time data. This information will ensure that the target market you are directing your efforts towards is indeed who the information is reaching.

Hope this helps!
Bea

How to Make Money Blogging

So I have done a lot of research on blogging and although I am not at the point where I make any money I felt it would be nice to share how you can make money with blogging. I used this website as a basis for my post. 

Built into Blogger are a few tools the blogger can use to track his or her blog progress.
Within the Stats category you will find traffic sources, audience and page views.

Blogger's traffic source tool is a very useful analytic. With this tool the blogger is able to know where their viewers are coming from. This is a great indicator of what keywords are working. After posting a blog with information on a fat free, sugar free health food recipe, a blogger finds that they are getting a lot of views from a website on weight loss. This could be an indication that they would get more views if they posted more recipes that are geared towards this group of viewers. This would hold true for any type of blogger, or blog type.

Secondly, the audience tool is another very useful tool. This tool shows what part of the world viewers are coming from. This can be beneficial knowing that your target audience is actually being targeted.

Thirdly, the page views tool. This tool might be the most beneficial of the three tools. You can view individual post views, or total blog views. Also you can view daily, all time views, or weekly views. Ultimately, page views show whether your blog post is getting traffic, and if your keywords are working. You can juggle around different keywords and see if the post gets more views. More views can potentially mean more earnings, which will be discussed in the next segment.

How to Earn Money by Blogging :

Google Adsense is partnered with Blogger to earn the blogger extra money by blogging. The more posts on the blog, the more opportunities to earn money. AdSense is a service that places ads on the blog posts that are relevant to the blog. The ads are paid for by companies that want to advertise, and purchase PPC ads. Blogger has full control over the ads placed on the blogs. Each time an Ad is clicked, the blogger earns money. You can track the revenue earned under the Earnings tab on Blogger, under this tab the blogger can customize what ads have been shown, clicked on, and how much revenue has been made from the ads.

Guess that's all there is to it. Sounds simple right? It's not. haha! You have to really be on top of your blogging for Adsense to even consider letting them post ads on your page. They will not pay some small blog only posting once a month (like mine haha!) but with hard work I think most people can be successful at blogging. It would be a great source of extra income for stay at home moms, or just people who like to write or have something to say. The blog has to have a specific purpose and not here, there and everywhere. It's particular but if you're really interested in doing it, there is tons of research out there!

An Update on Life

Life has been a roller coaster of events this year. From losing an uncle, to the baby being diagnosed with Autism..it's just been crazy. So much has been going on and sometimes I feel like I am at my breaking point. But, I have a good support system at home and that always helps keep me above the waterline and safe from drowning. I have gotten some emails recently asking me to just post about life and how I manage it all and the truth is...I don't exactly know how I do it. My education is not hard for me, most of the courses I take come really easy for me, but that is not uncommon for me. I have a photographic memory so while reading or studying, things tend to come back pretty easy. Since having Z though, I feel my memory has gotten worse and sometimes I wonder if its because I went so long without getting vaccines and in the last two years I have gotten two. That's another story though.

 I have 20 drafts awaiting me to finish and post and I just keep thinking of all the things I want to post for you all, and myself. My life has always taken sudden changes in directions but recently I think I have found the path that I really want to take. I don't quite understand it yet, but I am learning. I started getting into essential oils when a friend recommended them. I was 100% skeptic and sometimes still am. I believe that skepticism is a normal human behavior but, my life was changed with the use of them. I've become almost obsessed with finding an answer using the oils rather than the traditional way to do things, I feel my family will benefit from this. Anyways that is not what this post is about, this post actually really has no purpose haha!

It's almost spring time here in New Hampshire, the birds sometimes come out now. I am so ready for the ice and snow to be gone and to plant flowers and have dinner outside. I cannot wait to put the pool up for the kids and watch them swim. Last year Z did not like the pool, hopefully this year is different. I am also only taking one class next term, I have gotten tired of classes and overwhelmed with work, home and just everything. So, it was a mutual decision for J and I for me to drop down to one class, to save my sanity! I need the break and I am welcoming it. This means I should have more time to blog this summer as well, hopefully. I have a bunch of gluten free on the grill recipes I have been wanting to try. And also spring time gluten free desserts, smoothies and dinner ideas. I really want to get back to cooking, it's something that I really enjoy. Plus, J got me this amazing spice rack for Christmas and I have yet to use it past the basic oregano, thyme, rosemary, parsley and garlic spices. So I am excited to experiment with some new spices as well. Is there anything you would like to see me attempt?

Not sure if I had posted before about my presidency through Autism Speaks U, Kaplan University. We had a large event last Tuesday and I think it went well. We were able to raise quite a bit of money for Autism research and my heart swells with heartfelt thanks to those who opened their wallets for the cause. The month is not over yet, so hopefully more come! And fundraising isn't limited to April. I love advocating for Autism. When I teach each month in meetings and such I feel so passionate about what I am saying, the same goes for when I am just talking about it. It's such a humbling feeling knowing the words that I am speaking is going somewhere, being spread and making a change in the world.

Well, not much more to say I guess. Going to be writing some posts on detox baths, oil pulling or lack thereof, new recipes soon, a review on Jamberry Nails, and more info on Essential oils most likely. I would also love to introduce you to my new adventures in the books I am writing, I think a lot of people will find it a very interesting study.

But for now, live successfully, live happy and live with purpose!

Bea