Step One - Preparing for Success: Before you attempt to wake up the sleeping toddler human, you need to collect your thoughts, get clothes together and make sure the diaper bag is packed. These things will save you valuable seconds and help you speed up the process getting out of the door. You want to make sure you have cereal or fruit in a to-go cup as a peace offing to the child who will be angry with you for skipping out before morning cartoons.
Step Two - The Awakening: Loudly and with the most exciting voice you can muster..jump into the toddlers room. Yell "(insert child's name)! time to wake up, you're missing all the fun!". This part is really easy. No toddler wants to be sleeping at 7:03am, are you fricking serious. This shouldn't even be a step, or maybe it should just be the end of step one. Ok, this is now step one, part two.
Step Two (the real step two) - The Diaper: Now that you have awaken the human toddler you can begin the process of dressing said toddler. Typically this will start with removing the nighttime diaper and putting on a new one. You have two choices: 1) hold the human down and make the rest of the day miserable because you made him change his diaper before HE was ready to do that or 2) bribe him with an m&m at 7:04a. Pick your battles, mom.
"Hey, let's change your diaper buddy!". He says no. "Mommy is in a big hurry, come here". He says no. Why do I think telling him I'm in a hurry will help anyways? "Oh, I found an m&m" he says "oh ok!"
Step Three - Shirt and Pants: The key here is to make the process quick and painless. Don't give the toddler enough time to even look at the clothes. PERIOD. This is essential to your success. If they see that you forgot to wash their favorite Thomas shirt..then it's over. You've lost. From this moment on, you're in super speed mode. Get that toddler dressed!
Step Four - The Socks: Ok, you're tired and it was before coffee when you grabbed the socks. Understandably so, you grabbed one blue car sock and a green plane sock. If your child is like our child...then this is a huge problem. How can you get yourself out of this? 1) Ignore his comments and let him ask over and over and over and over and over and over and over why they're different and he will whine and complain about his socks not matching...all morning. He will also bring it up in five years as a 'remember the time you couldn't even match my socks right?!' Moment...probably in front of his teachers or somewhere important. Or you can do 2) tell him the blue sock needed a friend and the green sock can along to save the day! Have the socks talk to each other for about .08 seconds max. Now, he will talk to his feet and socks all day...but it won't be crying. This will take some major convincing ...but I believe in you, mom, you can do it!
"Oh this blue sock needed a friend ;(" he comes over, 'aww green friend sock'. He loses, I win but he doesn't have to know that...but I know that and im feeling pretty good by this point. 7:09a.
Step Five - Nearing the End: so by now, your toddler is awake. He/she is dressed and you have snacks for the go. All this in a 10 minute or less time frame with no coffee. You rock, mom. You rock.
Now, for boys shoes are usually easy. For Zachary, though, we need to run our shoes through various tests to ensure they are of standard enough to make it through the morning. For each shoe we ensure the highest quality of testing..., does the Velcro stick? Do the lights work when you hit the bottom with your hand? The floor? Moms leg? The table? The other shoe? Do the lights blink fast enough? What is this spot? Shouldn't be there. Clean it. Re-test lighting system....and then allow for the shoe to be placed on each foot with grace. Then the shoe needs tested a third time. The toddler stands, dances, kicks random things throughout the living room. What is this spot here? Clean it. Done. 7:16a.
Step Six - Getting out of the house, and into the Car: Seems simple right? Wrong. When you're the mother of a toddler, nothing is simple. In order to get out of the house we have to make a huge descion. One that could change the entire outcome of the day....should we take Thomas and Hiro or two cars? You will find that your toddler will try to break your two toy rule and hold three cars and smile big. Don't fall into the trap mom. You're late, but you're going to be even later when you're trying to keep track of more than two toys and he is dropping them everywhere. Hold your ground!
Getting into the car is two fold and depends on how well you were able to get out of the house. If he is still upset about leaving behind the third wheel, it could be more difficult. Elbow over the stomach, blocking his ability to escape and shove that toddler into the seat. He will fight, he will scream, but he will not win. Get out of the car, it's 7:20a...pretty good but still late.
Your tiny human is upset and screaming at you for whatever reason. Take a moment and pay yourself in the back. If you go .5 miles faster than the last time you went to the doctors office you'll make it on time. Your toddler is dressed, clean, and you held your ground with toy limits. The light up shoes are working and up to toddler par. You did well.
You know, it takes a special person to not go crazy when getting a toddler dressed for a late appointment. But, that's part of being a mom. I wouldn't change our boys for anything and through the chaos and looking back they do pretty well. Now to top off the morning...remember that peace offering of food? Mows the time to use it. Hand back that cup of their favorite breakfast alternative and rock on knowing you're awesome.
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