I am feeling a whirlwind of emotion lately. I am up and down and over there and back around and it's crazy. Most of the time I am not even sure how I am feeling. Last week we found out that our Z also has seizures..on top of the Autism and Sensory now we need to worry about flashing lights etc. Then yesterday I get lab results back and I am extremely vitamin deficient and really need to bump up the healthy living way of living. No gluten at all, I really need to rid of this so I can get healthy. I was put on a ton of new supplements and I am not even sure how my stomach is going to manage this many but I am sure it will. Instead of being upset about these new found medical conditions to add to our list, I feel numb. I feel like it keeps piling on and after so long you just kind of accept that something else is coming. It doesn't even hurt to think that way anymore. I can think of only positives from my test results...beginning of understanding the daily pain, the start of a new healthy life. As for the seizures our two year old is having, well there are really no positives I can think of. I guess I am glad they caught it early enough that we know that there is a problem. Is that even a positive?
Today I am starting with a cleanse that I have been excited but mostly anxious about starting. My goal is to jumpstart the unloading process of harmful toxins in my major organs. Today I start on an oil to detox the liver called Zendrocrine. You can get it through doTERRA, I sell for them also but this post has nothing to do with that. The oil is suppose to help the bodies natural ability to detox of toxins from the body, mainly in the liver. doTERRA also carries a blend that does more, but I am going to start with what I have and that's the oil and I will put the oil in my capsules myself. I am mainly worried about side effects and gut pain. I have lived a lot of years not eating or living right and I am afraid of the cleanse. This isn't suppose to be a harsh cleanse but that doesn't seem to be taking my mind off the potential for pain.
Good news of the day is that I woke up this morning minus the fibro flare up I have been struggling with over the past three days...This new lifestyle will also help minimize or eliminate the flareups. It's hard with three kids to have flare ups so bad that you feel you cannot move or wake up. Thank the good Lord for giving me a good man to help with everything while I am down. Fibro is an unseen condition yet consistently he can see it. He knows when I need him and he never seizes to deliver and everyday I wake up and he is with me, I feel thankful and blessed. I do not show him enough how much I appreciate him, some days I don't know how. I feel like just saying it isn't enough, and I need to do more..but what?
Anyways, this is just a long drawn out morning post. I woke up with the puppy at 5:30a again to potty so I decided I wanted to write. Drinking my coffee and talking to the universe right now. Not sure how to settle down my thoughts and emotions. Its so hard to explain, that I feel overloaded with emotions yet so numb. I feel so deserving of these conditions yet I know I do not deserve them. I hope I do not pass any of this on to my kids, I wouldn't wish my health on my enemy. I think that may be my main concern; passing my health onto my children. I feel if I change my lifestyle it obviously changes theirs too, and that is a good thing. So we will see how the changes goes. No sugar, no gluten and I think I will be completely cutting out grains for myself. Fresh, natural and organic. Enough of this toxin overload that we are doing to our systems...I am tired of dying over food and that is exactly what is happening. I am killing my own body with the very food I have eaten to survive and that...that my friend, is a big problem.
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