My dear boys, Christopher..you are beyond handsome, intelligent, so bright and determined...I love you so much, I am sorry. Zachary..my how mommy loves you so. Such a miracle, so beautiful and on the go, you're perfect in every way possible, I am sorry.
I'm so sorry for the world mommy brought you into. All the bad you'll have to learn and see. I am sorry I can't protect you from the violence and hatred that you'll grow up hearing about, seeing on the television, reading about online...I'm so very sorry.
I look into your deep dark brown eyes, and your bold bright blue eyes and I am saddened by the thought of that the innocence I see there being taken by anything. I never want you to be corrupted by the world, by the people in the world, by all the bad that happens. I know..these things seem inevitable but I pray each and every day that I raise you to know that although bad things happen there are always good people in the world..and you are one of them.
I want you to stand up for yourselves, but I am sorry that you'll have to. I want you to fight for what you believe in, but I am sorry that you'll ever have to give reason for your beliefs. I want you to protect your children, and yourselves but, I am sorry that you even have to think about how you will protect your family. I am so sorry.
I want to vow to you, my beautiful perfect children, to fight for you. To fight for your rights, for your freedoms. I vow to do everything in my power to make sure you're taken care of medically, financially, emotionally and another other way you need mama to. I vow to love you unconditionally even when you do things I disapprove of. I love you, that will never ever change. I am so sorry for all you will see, hear, or experience. I am sorry that you will have to learn the hard way through life.
With all the bad you will see, hear about or experience I promise there will be so many things making life worth while. College, children, experiences you'll have will make you so thankful you are alive. When you look into your children's eyes for the first time, I promise you will forget the bad, you'll forget all the hatred in the world and all you will feel is love. The same love I feel every time I look into your eyes. When you graduate high school and go on to College, you'll feel accomplished. When you buy your first car, or home..you'll feel rich. When you marry the woman of your dreams you will feel as if you've won the lottery.
I guess what I am saying, my beautiful little men, is don't focus on the world as a whole. There will always be war, hatred, and crime. This is the devastating truth of our existence. Focus on what is important. Your family, your success, your world is what you want it to be. I am sorry for all the bad that will be around you, but I am not sorry to be able to witness you grow up and be the incredible people I know you will be.
I love you to the Moon and around the sun and back,
I am your Mommy and you are my son's.
Mommy <3
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